A Plea to the Ladies

I am going to share with you something that the Lord has really been convicting me about. I in no way intend to offend anyone, but pray that the Holy Spirit will convict you, as He has me, if you need to be convicted in this area.
Modesty . . . what all does that entail? God has really shown me tremendous amounts regarding this area in my life. There have been several resources that He has used to bring conviction upon me. I highly encourage you to check these resources out. In Created To Be His Help Meet, Debi Pearl has a chapter about being chaste. She is extremely blunt about this subject in talking about what a man really sees when he looks at women & how a godly man really wants his wife to be. I think this is a must read - I wish I had this book when I was a preteen/teenager. Then I listened to Nancy Leigh DeMoss and her study on modesty. It was a great series that talked about modesty in clothing (something I have heard a lot more about growing up) & modesty in behavior. There was even one section that was a plea to the fathers on how to train their daughters on what to where and not to wear. There was also a plea to the wives to go to the husbands & say, "Dear, you know what draws a man's eyes. Help me to go through my wardrobe & glean out anything that I may wear that will cause a man's eye to linger on my body in any area that may cause him to sin."

So, here is a little of where I am coming from with great honesty. I have always tried to be modest in that I have tried not to wear clothing that is too short or too low. But as I started listening and reading about this topic that I have become more aware that I have allowed some of the fads & some of my desires of wanting to look attractive to pull me over to the side where at times I am not dressed modestly. And that is sin.

So, in Debi Pearls book she has a few letters that she & her husband have actually received from men - that if you were to read would break your heart. In one letter a guy talks about how he had to quit hanging around one of his close friends because the way his friends' wife dresses keeps him aroused the whole time he is around the couple. The husband is embarrassed
by his wife & feels dishonored by her. He says he is looking for a women who he can call to be his own little hidden treasure. So the question to you(if you are married) & me is, "Are we being our husbands own little hidden treasure - that no one else can get glimpses of?" And if you are not married, ask yourself "Am I hidding myself away so that I will be a hidden treasure for my husband one day?"

She quotes Matt 5:28 " Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Then she writes: "It is impossible for a woman to understand a man's visual drive. . . A woman's body, moving within visual range of a man, unless it is modestly covered in a way that says to the man that you have no interest in him taking pleasure in your appearance, can be stimulating to him as disrobing completely. He may be a better man than the woman....and may have the fortitude to deny his eyes . . .but it makes you a source of temptation to sin, rather than someone to whom he can relate. . . .Jesus said that a lusting man commits adultery WITH a woman, not against her, meaning that the woman is included in the lusting adultery. Women have told me that they are "not convicted" about the way they dress, as if God has to chase them down and torment them about it before they will obey his Word."

Ouch . . . God really used her words to bring conviction on me. I had always heard it was the man's sin for lusting. He was committing adultery - but not really the case. If I wear something that is too tight, short, low, etc... that causes a man to lust - I am just as guilty as he.

That made me go to Clay and say, "I know you like me to wear certain shirts that I have - but they really need to stay at home. I need you to look at what I am wearing & tell me from a man's perspective if there is anything about the clothes I am wearing to cause a man's eye to be drawn towards me."

I encourage you ladies to do the same with your husbands. Let's start really trying to protect the men.

Also, if you see me wearing something that is questionable be sister in the Lord and tell me what your concern is with what I am wearing.

I really felt prompted to share this with you because of an article I just read. I encourage you and your husbands to read it. Modest Daughters