Humility

God has really been teaching me a lot lately. There will probably be many small posts explaining the many lessons that He has been teaching me. A lot of this started a few months ago when we were looking at Paul and his humility as we studied Acts during CBS (Community Bible Study). In Acts 20:19 Paul is saying farewell to the elders of the church in Ephesus. He is talking about how he served in Asia, and he says, "serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials which came upon me through the plots of the Jews." One of our questions in the Bible Study was to explain what Paul meant when he stated that he served the Lord with "great humility." So, I decided to look up the word humility. Humility = the quality or state of being humble. Humble = to destroy the power, independence, or prestige of self.

When I read the definition of that, it really hit me how I was so far from being humble. In fact, I realized that I was very selfish. I realized that I had been complaining, having self pity parties, and in my soul longing for "freedom." Freedom to go to the store and get everything on my shopping list before it was time for someone's nap or bed time. Freedom to go to the bathroom without someone either in the bathroom with me or pounding on the door screaming, "MaMa or Mommie." I wanted to have freedom to go to the store and buy something with out having to worry about whether it was in the budget or whether it was a wise purchase." I even wanted freedom to be involved in more church ministry - but felt negatively towards my kids because they prevented me from doing more ministry. My list could go on and on and on. But what I began to realize is that I was being extremely selfish. I kept saying that I should have the right to have time by myself and even a right to spend money on something that I just wanted to. The Lord started showing me what I was missing was the freedom I had during college, when I had more independence - before a husband and before kids. So, I needed to allow God to destroy the independence of self (or in my case the longing for that). God reconfirmed to me that my husband and children are a blessing from Him. They have been put in my life to help mold me into a more humble person - to help aide in the process of me becoming more like Christ.

Pray for me as I allow God to move me more and more towards humility.